Title – If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (2025)

Director – Mary Bronstein (The Jonestown Defense)

Cast – Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater

Plot – Struggling to maintain her sanity tending to her sickly child, working full time and juggling a long-distance relationship with her husband, Linda (Byrne) finds her life in turmoil when a hole in her ceiling sets in motion a series of rapidly confronting events.  

“I hate my hamster”

Review by Eddie on 11/12/2025

If there’s justice out there in the movie universe, Australian ex-pat Rose Byrne will be a high chance to walk away with an Oscar come the Academy Awards ceremony in March of 2026.

After decades of plying her trade both locally and abroad, the well-liked if undervalued actress delivers a knockout performance here as struggling mother Linda in Mary Bronstein’s confronting and unique If I Had Legs I’d Kick You.

As stressful and anxiety inducing as the likes of Uncut Gems or Whiplash, Legs follows Linda across an increasingly chaotic period in her life where marital troubles, a sickly child, house issues, business problems and hamster run ins combine to send her sense of purpose and track of reality spiralling to a potentially dangerous outcome.

Recently nominated at the Golden Globes for her performance oddly in the musical or comedy category, it must be said that while pitch black funny in parts, Legs is very far from a fun and frivolous time as Byrne and Bronstein provide a warts and all exploration of a crumbling mind that is going to hit home particularly hard for any mothers or parents who have experienced first-hand the sometimes trying nature of parenthood or tending to a child while trying to keep their own head above water.

Bryne’s performance as the capable but tested Linda is a genuine revelation, as even though Bryne’s skillset has never been questioned, her performance here stands out amongst the crowd of her C.V that is littered with quality comedic turns and the odd sprinkling of dramatic offerings such as Sunshine and The Place Beyond the Pines but it feels as though here in Bronstein’s film Bryne has finally been given the keys to the kingdom in a way she’s never had access to prior.

A wide-ranging turn that allows Bryne to explore a full suite of different emotions and feelings as she remains front and centre throughout most of the film’s proceedings, Bryne does it all here and while ably supported by the likes of Conan O’Brien, A$AP Rocky and Christian Slater in small but important roles, Bryne is the heart and soul of this flawed but also powerful film that calls to mind elements from works from the likes of David Cronenberg, David Lynch and even Yorgos Lanthimos.

Dealing with familiar subject matters in a fresh and unpredictable way, Legs may seem like an unassuming independent feature but there’s a lot going on here with Bryne’s performance moving it from one to be on your radar to a must-watch.

Final Say –

Built around a powerful and memorable Rose Bryne performance, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is one of 2025’s little surprises that deserves to be a major presence at the 2026 Academy Awards thanks to its leading lady’s work.

4 runaway hamsters out of 5