Title – After Earth (2013)
Director – M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense)
Cast – Will Smith, Jaden Smith, Sophie Okonedo, Zoe Kravitz
Plot – 1000 years into the future and humans have taken up residence on other planets after seemingly destroying Earth as a habitable planet. Kitai Raige (Jaden Smith) wants to be like his fearless alien slaying father Cypher (Will Smith) and when there space ship crash lands onto Earth he must learn to overcome his fears and prove to himself and his father that he to can be a hero.
“You’re still in that box. It’s time to come out”
Review by Eddie on 9/12/2013
Dear Will Smith
We know good sir that you in fact can act, represented in such fine films as Ali and Six Degrees of Seperation and that when on form you can make average movies impressively average as witnessed in such jaunts as I Am Legend and I Robot but dear sir your reputation will be forever tarnished by this dire and ego driven project. It’s nice that you came up with a story as an allergy to your beloved scientology but the general public do not feel at all passionate about your cause and to use the vehicle as an excuse to give your talentless child another undeserved lead role is just a slap straight across movie fans cheeks. Surely after years in the business of Hollywood you would be able to sense when a project is doomed from the start and judging by arguably your worst on screen performance you must of felt largely responsible but clearly your judgement here was clouded by personal gain and that is a very sad state of affairs, a state that you may perhaps never fully recover from.
Dear Jaden Smith
You’ve got lucky twice kid with the sappy Pursuit of Happiness and the unneeded yet weirdly tolerable Karate Kid remake but you should of stopped while you were ahead. It’s lovely and what not that your father feels the need to continue to push you into roles you have not earned and into a career that after this effort pretty much should never ever happen. Your role in After Earth is that of the work of someone trying way to hard and will go down in modern movie history as having one of the worst accents committed to film. Scenes of emotion that are there to portray love between our two space explorers and father and son duo are made laughable by some horrid acting and your career may never get over the speed hump that is a scene of you being chased by a giant eagle.
Dear M. Night Shyamalan
Why oh why did you play us for fools? Here we were years ago with The Sixth Sense thinking we had found the new king of thrills, an original voice who had the ability to write the script, make the film and direct the actors to greatness but since then what have you done? Signs, Unbreakable and The Village for all good without being great but dear Sir what on earth was Lady in the Water, The Happening, The Last Airbender and now this dribble? Please oh please show us soon there is something left to give or otherwise all hope that you will ever become good again will fade. After Earth should of screamed “stay away from me” yet you took it and directed it so averagely and without flair that it’s almost as if you were just counting the balance of your bank.
If by chance you’re wondering if After Earth is as bad as you have heard it is, like a make you want to cry bad. It’s a movie that whilst costing millions upon millions to make and market has not one memorable set piece or redeeming feature to recommend it. Just be thankful it has a few hearty (and not meant to be) chuckles due to it’s B grade effects, laughable acting, dire story and horrible costumes. Take a knee, hire it out and laugh at the ego falling out of the screen and into your lounge room.
Half a rock throwing baboon out of 5