Title – The Snowman (2017)
Director – Tomas Alfredson (Let the Right One In)
Cast – Michael Fassbender, Rebecca Ferguson, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Val Kilmer, J. K Simmons, Toby Jones, Jonas Karlsson
Plot – Alcoholic Oslo detective Harry Hole (Fassbender) must uncover the identity of a mysterious serial killer who has been terrorising the city over numerous years and has begun writing letters to the detective in a dangerous game of cat and mouse.
“I apologize for Oslo’s low murder rate”
Review by Eddie on 13/02/2018
How The Snowman became the film it ended up being will likely forever remain a great mystery of bad movie history.
The Snowman’s director Tomas Alfredson has publicly stated that his movie makes no sense, is missing a large percentage of its script due to filming time constraints and generally has stated that this is not the film he intended to make but that’s no real excuse for the sleep inducing police thriller we get here.
That The Snowman has been so universally panned and lamented is not surprising, as Alfredson is a filmmaker whose got run’s on the board with brilliant vampire tale Let The Right One In and the great cold war thriller Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, but his not the only reason why so many were genuinely surprised by the downright blandness that was this adaptation of Jo Nesbø’s famous series of book’s.
Starring Michael Fassbender (whose literally never been less charismatic or uninterested looking and is now officially in dire need of a hit) and such co-stars as J.K Simmons, Toby Jones, Val Kilmer and Rebecca Ferguson, produced by Martin Scorsese, scripted by competent screenwriters that includes Hossein Amini and even edited by Scorsese’s long time editing master Thelma Schoonmaker, The Snowman has all the talent in the world and manages to squander it in a genuinely frustrating and uninvolving fashion as we slog through 2 hours of an indescribable mess of proceedings.
The Snowman may not be the worst film of 2017 but it’s clearly the biggest waste of potential and Alfredson’s claims that some hugely important parts of the story weren’t even filmed don’t seem too far off the mark as characters come and disappear, important story strands are seemingly passed over, while the central story of a brutal killer building snowman with severed human heads whilst taunting Fassbender’s alcoholic detective Harry Hole with letters and phone calls just never becomes even slightly thrilling or engaging against all the odds of it doing so.
It’s a bizarre experience witnessing a film with all the elements of being something of note and just never taking hold on any facet of its being, Alfredson ads no flair or imagination from behind the camera, Fassbender sleepwalks through his turn, Marco Beltrami’s intrusive score annoys from the outset, even some badly computer generated seagulls look like they’ve been animated by Microsoft Paint.
With everything and everyone in The Snowman failing to make a mark or even give off the vibe that they care, it makes you wonder if this was a case of no one really being truly invested in making a good film, or at the very least thinking that it would all just fall into place with the minimum effort exerted, proving that you can have all the talent assembled and still make a downright poor excuse for a feature.
Final Say –
Not 2017’s worst film but certainly the most disappointing, The Snowman could’ve been (and really should’ve been) one of the year’s best thriller’s, that not only had audience’s on the edge of their seats, but eagerly awaiting more Harry Hole adventures in what’s clearly supposed to be a franchise set-up.
What we get instead is a movie more likely to lull you into a sleep, than raise any form of interest or suspense.
1 fork out of 5