Title – Argylle (2024) 

Director – Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) 

Cast – Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Henry Cavill, Samuel L. Jackson, John Cena

Plot – Mild-mannered successful spy novelist Elly Conway (Howard) gets caught up in the real world of spies and dastardly underworld organisations when she comes across the mysterious Aidan Wilde (Rockwell) a spy who insists that Elly is in real danger unless she becomes a character like one she writes about.  

“Don’t let the cat out of the bag”

Review by Eddie on 02/02/2024

Not usually one for ill-advised early predictions, I can’t imagine there will be too many worse scenes sighted on the big screen for me in 2024 than the sight of a mis-cast and poorly CGI’d Bryce Dallas Howard skating across an oil slick in improvised knife skates taking on a room full of incompetent goons. 

Now we all know and understand that January and early February are earmarked year after year as a dumping ground for the films Hollywood has little faith in, projects that come and go with often little fuss and fanfare and often for good reason, but sometimes there really is no excuse. 

With this in mind, one would think that heading cautiously into Matthew Vaughn’s new $100+ million dollar spy action comedy romp would prepare one to lower expectations significantly enough to find some type of enjoyment from this star-studded affair but unfortunately this newest outing from a director who once produced some of the more fun and energetic Hollywood vehicles is a wet blanket of a ride, providing a drab and DOA offering that’s an early contender for 2024’s worst Hollywood release. 

At a minimum 30-40 minutes too long for even the most forgiving of viewers, it’s hard to fathom that the boorish and lifeless caper we are laying witness to here is from the same mind of the man that oversaw cult favourite Layer Cake, well-liked superhero flick Kick-Ass and the box office smash that was The Kingsman with Argylle sharing similar themes and concepts as those films but none of their charm, smarts or energy, all elements that appear desperate to make themselves apparent here but never coming to fruition. 

With a central concept that on paper could provide a fun, frantic and thrilling film, the idea of Dallas Howard’s cat loving homebody writer Elly Conway getting caught up in the real world of spy’s and espionage when Sam Rockwell’s real life agent Aiden Wilde comes onto the scene has some serious cinematic potential and with the likes of Henry Cavill, Bryan Cranston, Samuel L. Jackson and John Cena along for the ride it’s not like Argylle lacks for talent in bringing Vaughn’s vision to life but from early on Argylle gets caught in a rut it’s never able to climb out of, that no matter the amount of “twists” or bizarre end credit sequences were going to be able to help it escape from. 

What makes the failings of Argylle to succeed, even to a minor degree of throwaway entertainment values, is the fact that this inept film wastes the talents of everyone involved too such a large degree. 

It becomes sad rather early on that we have to endure watching talents such as Dallas Howard and Rockwell lower themselves so here, with Dallas Howard the recipient of a terrible case of miscasting as Conway with her role morphing more and more into one that feels unsuited to her abilities while Rockwell’s well-known and respected ability in comedic minded affairs is wasted on Wilde, a character who is anything like his namesakes surname with everyone else here barely raising a sweat with underwritten and underutilised characters that get lost in amongst all the so-called thrilling action that looks more at home in a mid-budget video game than a well-financed Apple original. 

Arriving in cinemas around the globe when the industry desperately needs some wins in what’s going to be a mostly rough period following on from 2023’s significant Hollywood strikes, Argylle is the exact type of original cinematic offering we didn’t need and a reminder that a decent idea does not instantly a good movie make. 

Final Say –  

Loaded with talent, potential and a budget that should at the very minimum allow for some memorable spectacle, Argylle is a shockingly inept new release from a director that should know better, with Matthew Vaughn’s turkey marking itself down as a strong early contender for 2024’s most notable big budget failure. 

1 cat backpack out of 5