Title – The Crow (2024) 

Director – Rupert Sanders (Ghost in the Shell) 

Cast – Bill Skarsgård, FKA twigs, Danny Huston

Plot – When lost souls Eric (Skarsgård) and Shelly (twigs) are brutally murdered by the mysterious Vincent Roeg (Huston), Eric is sent back to this world as a supernatural being with aims to enact revenge on those that wronged him and the love of his life. 

“I loved her, you know? I loved her like an ocean loves water”

Review by Eddie on 11/11/2024

Joining the ranks of the unfortunate kings and queens of the 2024 terrible movie podium award winners that also includes Hollywood dumpster fires Madame Web and Borderlands, The Crow has risen from the ashes to ensure that the next iteration of the Razzie awards are going to be flush with content to choose from come their nomination announcements. 

A reimagining no one asked for and an adaptation that appears to have been made to spite those that have long held affiliation with the original graphic novels or the cult-classic 1994 film that has come before it, Rupert Sanders modern take on the tale of unfortunate soul Eric (here played by the mulleted Bill Skarsgård) is a misguided and lifeless attempt to breathe new life into a property that has for all intents and purposes run its course long before this doomed production was unleashed onto the public. 

Aiming to give us far more time in Eric’s life before he turns into a full-bodied supernatural killings machine that loves himself some leather and care free murder, Sanders and his creative team go down a terribly ill-conceived route that ensures most of The Crow’s runtime is gifted to Eric and his relationship with FKA twigs’s Shelly, two totally unlikeable characters who endear themselves to us in no way shape or form, meaning the Crow people want to see isn’t even a factor until late in the piece. 

To get to the films extremely minor and unmemorable end game there’s going to be a lot of people that can’t make it through The Crow’s amateurish script (who even is Danny Huston’s big bad? Seriously?), bland performances, unimaginative direction and utterly confusing plotting that all points to a film that was troubled by its production and goals, giving the overall sense that this was a feature film made without knowing who its audience was and what it wanted to even be. 

In amongst all of the bland and charisma free happenings is another lost feeling performance from Skarsgård, who has struggled to find his footing in the industry following on from his breakout turn in the two IT films, with his performance as Eric one I am sure he will be keen to forget in quicktime as his bad tattoos, DIY hairdo and questionable fashion choices all working together to create one of the years more notable poor acting performances that sits nicely alongside Dakota Johnson’s turn in Madame Web, Cate Blanchett’s misguided Borderlands gig and Skarsgård’s own co-star twigs as some of the years poorest examples of professional actors dropping the ball. 

Not a so bad its good experience and not even one that needs to be seen to be believed, The Crow is nothing but a dull and spiritless affair that falters in all its core elements creating an offering that’s going to rile up the fans it should be looking to appease and boring everyone else that dares to waste their time on this dire adaptation. 

Final Say –

A film that deserves its status as a box office dud with a poor reception from all too boot, The Crow is as bad as you’ve heard it was and another sad and sorry new addition to the championship group of terrible 2024 Hollywood films that have found their way into the general public this year. 

1/2 a pink tracksuit out of 5